“What if comparing myself today, to my past self, actually makes me feel worse?”

"What if comparing yourself today to your past self is actually making things worse?"

This question came up at The Rising Strong Wellness Retreat I co-created — and then again a week later in a session with a client, who hadn’t been in the gym since her 30s.

She kept describing what she used to be able to do.

The weight she used to lift.

How she used to look.

Every sentence started with “I used to…”

Sound familiar?

Most of us are taught that comparing ourselves to others is the trap to avoid. But comparing yourself to a younger, leaner, stronger version of you can be just as destructive — and it’s sneakier, because it feels like self-improvement.

Here’s what I’ve learned after 15 years and thousands of sessions:

1. Your past self isn’t a standard. They’re a snapshot.

You weigh differently at different times of day. Your body looks different standing than it does sitting. Your capacity changes with stress, sleep, age and season. Your “past self” existed in a completely different context, different schedule, different demands, different life.

Holding yourself to that standard isn’t discipline. It’s an unfair fight.

2. Less comparison isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.

When we constantly measure today against “before,” we’re training our brain to focus on loss. That’s a hard environment to make progress in.

The clients I’ve seen make the most sustainable progress are the ones who shift the question from “why can’t I do what I used to?” to “what can I build from here?”

That’s not lowering the bar. That’s actually seeing clearly.

3. You may need more support than a workout.

If the negative self-talk is persistent — if it’s affecting your motivation, your relationship with food or how you feel in your body most days — that’s worth talking to a professional about. A therapist or counsellor who works in this space can help in ways a trainer can’t.

There’s no shame in that.

Some offer sliding scale fees and virtual options.

This is a bigger conversation that one blog post can hold. But if any of this landed for you, I'd genuinely like to hear about it.

Reach out here, or book a free consultation if you're ready to start building, not comparing.