"Everything in Moderation" Is Good Advice — Until It Isn't

I was at my aunt's place on a Sunday when she put a plate of freshly baked rice crispy squares on the table.

I'm not a rice crispy square person. Burgers, yes. A gin soda, absolutely.

But rice crispy squares have never been my thing. Still, I grabbed one. It was fine.

And then I caught myself reaching for a second — and in that moment, I heard my own voice in my head:

"Moderation. It's okay."

I put it back.

Not because one more square would have derailed anything. But because I recognized what I was doing.

I was using moderation as a scapegoat.

I didn't even particularly want the second one. I just wanted permission. And I was using a legitimate nutritional philosophy to give it to myself.

That moment stuck with me because I hear the same thing from clients in Edmonton every week, just with higher stakes.

The problem with how we use "moderation"

Moderation is genuinely good advice. I coach it. I believe in it.

For most people, a flexible approach to eating, one without rigid restriction or obsessive tracking is more sustainable than any structured diet plan over the long term.

But somewhere along the way, moderation became a hall pass.

I'll have the dessert — moderation.

A second glass of wine — moderation.

The fries instead of the salad, again — moderation.

And individually, none of those choices are a problem. The problem is when moderation becomes the answer to every food decision, every day, without any real awareness of what's actually happening.

For people in their 50s and 60s, this matters more than it did at 25. If you're managing blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol or trying to maintain muscle mass as your metabolism shifts, and most people at this stage are navigating at least one of those things, the cumulative effect of daily "moderation" decisions adds up faster than it used to.

The body is less forgiving. The margins are smaller. And the advice you got in your 40s may not be serving you as well as you think.

This isn't about restriction. It's about awareness.

The framework I actually use: negotiable vs. non-negotiable

Here's what works better than a vague commitment to moderation and what I walk clients through when we talk about nutrition.

Decide in advance what your non-negotiables are.

These are the foods or experiences that genuinely matter to you. The meal at your favourite restaurant. The glass of wine on a Friday evening. Your aunt's baking on a Sunday. These are worth having fully and without guilt, because they're chosen deliberately and they add real quality to your life.

Then identify the negotiables — the things you eat not because you love them or they bring you joy, but out of habit, convenience, or the vague permission of "moderation." The second square you didn't really want. The side of fries you ordered automatically. These are the places where awareness actually changes behaviour without requiring willpower or restriction.

I'll give you a practical example:

I wanted a burger one evening but didn't want everything that came with it.

So I had the burger — the non-negotiable — and swapped the fries for a bowl of black beans. Still sat at the table, still enjoyed the meal, still participated in the social experience. I just made a conscious swap on the part I wasn't attached to.

That's what real moderation looks like. Not permission for everything. Intentional choices about what actually matters to you.

What this looks like in practice after 50

The clients I work with in Edmonton who make the most consistent progress with their nutrition aren't the ones following the strictest plans.

They're the ones who've gotten clear on their non-negotiables and stopped spending energy managing everything else.

They know what they're not willing to give up and they protect those things. Everything else becomes a lot easier to navigate once you've drawn that line honestly.

If you've been told to "eat better" but nobody has ever helped you figure out what that means for your actual life — your schedule, your health history, your relationship with food, that's the conversation worth having.

Nutrition doesn't have to be complicated. But it does have to be honest.

If you're ready to work through it properly, I'd like to help.

Book a free consultation at shanekokas.com/contact