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  • Shane Kokas

False narratives & Self-sabotage

False narratives are a major player in our self-sabotage.

A narrative is simply a story. It’s within our personal narratives that can get us into trouble. These are the stories we tell ourselves about our experiences to help us understand a situation. But what happens when we interpret a story wrongly?


Author Erin Brown Conroy states, “We don’t fully understand what’s going on, miss what someonemeans, and misconstrue the meaning of entire situations”—we jump to conclusions. This is where the issues begin, because we only interpret a narrative through our own POV, which is always skewed—twisted from our preconceived notions and experiences.

Erin explains that a false narrative is the gaps in a story that are our own creations, which aren’t true, but we believe them to be and cement a full story or experience.

This is where the destruction and sabotage we impose on ourselves comes into play. False narratives create a trend of negative thought links and halts progress. We do this because it’s easier—it’s easier than seeking the truth, investigating, dropping preconceived notions and maybe even neglecting our own responsibility. This is when we can throw ourselves off course from our fitness goals, personal relationships or professional endeavors. 

So what can you do?

Whenever I find myself immersed in a false narrative of my own creation I look for the truth and proof—I ask myself, “What am I basing this off of?” and “Based off of what I know to be FACT, does this add up?” Most of the time it doesn’t. Truth and proof seeking are the elixirs to a false story.

But knowing what the cure is to the false narrative doesn’t mean it’s now smooth sailing, because though it’s a false story, we still need to UNlearn the story—that’s where the messy and uncomfortable effort comes in. But it’s where the change happens.

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