Search Results

A few weekends ago, my friend Anna and I attended a summer party where we found ourselves sitting at the bar enjoying a drink and laughing with one another. Eventually the two men next to us made some light conversation where they asked what we did for work. I told them I was a personal trainer. He then asked in a condescending tone, “You’re... a personal trainer?” while proceeding to poke me in my stomach. I am not kidding. The stranger blatantly judged me, and then preceded to touch me—As if my body wasn’t my body, but something that he could poke, prod and judge. In the moment I actually laughed at him and said, “Why would I lie about such a thing and yeah, I have had a career in this space for almost a decade.” That was the end of it. This didn’t affect the rest of my evening—I still had a great time and shared genuine laughs with my friend. I didn’t really think anything of it beyond that because I don’t perceive myself as being “fat” and I now have more positive body image days than negative. But it hasn’t been my first experience having someone (a stranger) judge me based on my body. My thoughts the next two days were nothing about the man, but being proudness in myself. I am proud of myself because had that been 10 years ago, I would have hid myself. Questioned myself. Maybe even hated myself. I know this because I have done this. I am proud of myself because of the years of mindset work I have invested in myself. In 2008, I had a classmate tell me I “wasn’t fit enough to be a personal trainer” when my friends and I were discussing career paths. In 2011, after my boss put out an advertisement saying I was accepting clients as a new trainer, I received an email from a stranger saying, “maybe I would have more clients if you lost weight.” There had been incidents between 2008 and 2011, and incidents after that led up to last weekend. The only difference today is my self-worth isn’t tied up in how other people think I should be or what they deem appropriate. I am writing to tell you that if you experience a negative comment or criticism about your body, to let you know your hurt, shock and frustration are totally valid. But I want to encourage you to loosen the grasps on that narrative—it isn’t yours to hold. You do not need to shift how you show up in the world, how much space you decide to take up because of someone else’s experiences of you and their insecurities. I want to remind you that your body is yours and it is not an invitation for anyone to poke, prod or assess. This kind of work will be messy. It will take time and it wont be easy. I am a decade into dissecting narratives that have been associated to me and determine what is mine. And to the stranger at the bar--any other questions?

The day is Monday and you have decided that this is going to be a fresh start to the week. Work went smoothly, you got home sooner than expected—traffic was slow and work was productive. You’re feeling comfortable and satisfied after a nice dinner. Most of your meals for the week have been prepped. Around 9pm you’re about to watch a few episodes of the latest Netflix addiction. Suddenly you’re standing in front of the pantry with your hand in a bag of chips living your best life. The other scenario is it’s the middle of the week, the boss has handed you some extra files to go over, clients to call and meetings to book. You’re running behind, but looking physically calm. The metaphor you would use to describe yourself is a duck swimming—kicking its legs veraciously under water, while everything else is seemingly gracefully. You haven’t eaten much today but are meeting friends for dinner. You’re finding yourself barely reading the menu because it doesn’t matter what you eat, it just needs to be something. The two situations are very different, but involve a quick ‘need’ for food. The first scenario is the craving for the chips and the second is the need to eat because of hunger. A craving and hunger are often misinterpreted for one another, so how do you decipher between the two? Hunger True hunger can often be associated with some slight discomfort—that grumbling gremlin in the pit of your stomach. This can show up when you haven’t eaten for a few hours or most of the day. You may even feel a bit of a headache or weakness. A big determinant of hunger is the feeling is not for one specific thing, but food/calories in general. True hunger also doesn’t pass with time. Craving A craving usually shows up sporadically in the form of comfort foods like chocolate, ice cream or chips. Often these are circumstances like an emotion (positive or negative), being in a particular situation—like needing popcorn in the theatre. The need can occur after you have just eaten and can typically go away with time. When you’re making lifestyle changes it’s often said that diet is the harder part of the change because food is associated with our comfort, copping mechanism and social supports. But confusing cravings for hunger is a huger deterrent for people reaching their health goals. In the future if you’re finding yourself in a situation where you’re asking, “hunger vs. craving?” the easiest answer is: If you are all of a sudden in the need for something random—even it’s persistent; it’s probably a craving. If the need for food in general comes on slowly and doesn’t disappear or increases in discomfort, it’s most likely hunger. Also, just asking yourself “when was the last time I ate?” is a quick decipher tool.

Before I start, I just wanted to say I found it funny that three weeks into my diet my most recent search history stated, “If there are no carbs in Gin, then were do the calories come from?” It was back in December when I decided I would diet early in the New Year. It isn’t unusual for someone to be planning ahead and thinking of ways they can improve upon the last year. I recognize that for some people, hearing that someone who tends to lean away from restrictive strategies and aims to educate clients in the methods of “moderation” seems a bit strange. I decided going on a structured diet and fitness plan would be beneficial for several reasons: 1. A new challenge: I have been comfortable in my methods of fitness for a while now and desired a challenge - particularly with food. Over the past few years I have swapped my “all or nothing”, calorie counting mindset to that of mindfulness (I know, I know, I almost eye-rolled writing that myself LOL). But this new regime required me to track calories and macronutrients with their corresponding workout and rest days. As expected, it was at times, tedious and uncomfortable for me but it pushed me beyond my comfort zone. 2. Reintroducing sacrifice: Sacrifice is relative. While I was navigating away from the extremes and trying to find this grey area called, Moderation, there still needed to be a sacrifice to some extent. I couldn’t eat all the chocolate almonds I wanted. I needed to be more conscious of my choices when eating out and I needed to get my priorities straight. I have been practicing moderation for a few years, so I realize I have been removed from the feeling of sacrifice for a while. Following another diet plan, which involved more structured fasting times and tracking the concrete protein, carb and fat intakes I knew would require more sacrifice on my part. 3. I wanted to change the appearance of my body: I was going to be going on a vacation in the spring where I knew there was going to be a lot of pool time involved. Knowing this, I wanted to change the way my body appeared. Now, it’s important to note that changing your body for vanity is okay. We think body change needs to be solely health related, and if it is based off of appearance, you’re vain. This isn’t true. Even if it is a byproduct, we have all embarked on a new fitness regime in the hopes of seeing some desirable physical changes. I think it’s important to also note, that wanting to change my body isn’t coming from a place of unworthiness. Though it took a lot of self-work, how I feel about myself doesn’t change as my body changes. I need to add the most important underlining motive: Dieting helped me emphasize better with my clients. As mentioned, I remember the feelings of sacrifice, but it has been a while since I felt the physical and emotional stress of making big changes. When someone is starting out, beginning an exercise plan is stressful. Planning your food takes time and it can be overwhelming to try to stay consistent. Though my sacrifices may be different than those of a client who is just starting out, the feelings are shared: I was reintroduced to the feeling of explaining the details of your diet and your own reasoning. I witnessed the subtle annoyance from others when they heard I wouldn’t be eating a particular items on the menu. Though well intended, I was reminded that some people will try to keep you complacent through complimenting, “but you don’t need to do that –you’re already fit and healthy.” I was facing the fork in the road, where I needed to miss social hangouts, break the diet or take the time to create an action plan so I would stay on track. I was finding myself trying to manage other people’s concerns of my diet. I noticed that even though we all ate what we wanted to, people knowing I was on a diet made them feel awkward eating in front of me. It’s like they didn’t want me to feel bad/deprived or they felt compelled to justify to me, why they were eating what was on their plate. I also found at times, I would project these same thoughts onto others. By going this exercise and diet plan, it allowed me to get back in touch with the feelings I experienced years ago when I first started making changes in my body composition and health. Getting back in touch with these feelings is allowing me to meet clients where they are at and further support them in their own journeys. I realized that this isn't our business, nor is it our job to justify our own health and fitness in the sake of satisfying another’s opinion--especially when we are not doing harm to ourselves. We don’t need to spend the time managing other people, when the whole point of this is about us; what we want for our health and body. If you’re just starting a new routine, this is a reminder that it’s not your business to manage other’s concerns, feelings or thoughts about you—especially not with your own health and fitness. Also, the answer to where are the calories in Gin are coming from—the alcohol itself.

It was the summer of 2012. I was at a friend’s home having some pre-drinks with everyone before heading out. I took a break from playing cards to check out the kitchen for food, because this is what friends do at friend’s homes. Right? #Family I grazed the fridge and saw some leftover pizza. I called to my friend in the other room asking if she was going to finish the pizza. To no surprise, she laughed and said I could eat it.  After I polished off the last pieces of her pizza I mixed the others some drinks and rejoined the group. There was usually three scenarios that would take place later that night when we got home. I would either eat more of my friend’s food (I was that guy), or pick something up immediately upon leaving the bar or raid the kitchen for anything when I got back to my downtown apartment. I almost wish I could say these scenarios were rare, but when my cousin declares it funny because, “Shane is so regimented, but the moment he drinks he’ll eat anything and everything!” I have to acknowledge it’s not. Oh, and my cousin wasn’t lying. A few months ago I had to laugh at myself as I was reminded of the tradition of stopping by the local 7-11 to get 4 Monterrey Chicken Taquito’s as we waited for a cab. The food I ate after midnight didn’t even have to look appetizing. Okay, it didn’t even actually need to smell good for that matter. “There was one time we woke up and I didn’t know what concoction Shane made, but it smelt awful.” I totally remember this. I don’t know what it was, but I remember mustard and egg was the main ingredient. Have you ever gone through this? Like, you’re regimented, diligent and on track during the week, then the moment you have some drinks on the weekend and you go off the rails? (Pictured here: Baby Shane, making Pina Colada's looking off where I imagine he's wondering what to eat.) In my late teens and early twenties I spent a lot of time in this area. I wouldn’t say I was unaware of this pattern because I did know that I was drunk binging on food. I guess I justified it because I worked out 5-7 days a week and ate “80% healthy”. I convinced myself that this was "moderation". But what I wasn’t aware of was that I crammed so much into that 20% window that it was like a 50:50 nutritional split. Hindsight, this completely derailed any progress I was hoping to make. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not this enlightened super-being who is now immune to the 2am snacks with his friends. But what I am saying is, this is now few and far between. And even if these 2am meals happen, they are not progress inhibiting. I don’t have friends regularly discussing the “Shane Feasts from the other night”. They are now more of an enlightening memory to look back on and laugh. So, what happened? How did I stop these midnight binges? 1. Real Moderation I know, I know. This is not sexy, ground breaking and it’s even been thrown around so many times it’s kind of lost it’s meaning. But hear me out. I stopped putting myself on this strict diet where I would only eat fruit, vegetables and protein during the week and would workout 5-7 days per week. Because, yeah once I had some drinks in me, my inhibitions were down, I did not have the will power to stop myself. I used up all my energy and will power Monday to Thursday “being good”, that when I slipped up, I would crash and burn. I had the appearance of structure and being under control - I wasn’t. I was deprived. 2. I relinquished control What this really means is, I let go of this idea that everything had to be perfect (because this obviously wasn’t working). I was setting myself up on this Monday to Thursday ritual of “clean eating” and Friday/Saturday “moderation” and Sunday food prep. This routine was literally on repeat, week after week and this routine was not getting me anywhere. 3. I called B.S. on myself I saw that my behavior was hindering my fitness goals and to be frank, it wasn’t healthy. Once I did this I realized that I was perpetuating this idea to myself that I was living a balanced lifestyle with “moderation”, but I really wasn’t. I was depriving myself to the point where I needed to rebel against my own regime, which hindered my progress. I said I followed “moderation” because I allowed both the “good” and “bad” foods into my diet, but the fact that I was late night binging is a red flag that something isn’t working. Have you ever experienced this? I can’t be alone. Please, share your stories. I mean, you couldn’t have also woken up next to a wrapped ham.

This is a very common concern I get from clients and the general public. Depending on who you are, you’re probably more particular to one over the other. For myself, I prefer weights to cardio. When I was just beginning to enter the gym I preferred cardio. Mainly because I did not have the self-efficacy to confidently walk into the weight room. But which comes first? Is one more important than the other? Let me just get this stated off the bat: they are very different, but both serve their purpose. Strength and cardiovascular endurance are on opposite ends of the training spectrum. It can be a challenge to improve both at the same time. However, we aren’t here because we want to be an award winning Olympic athlete. We are here because we just want to not feel so winded going for a casual run or walking up stairs, but also showcasing a little more muscle tone. So, what can we do to solve this? Do both. I know, I know. “Not helpful, Shane.” Stay with me. Alex Hutchinson, Ph.D. states a study from Derek Hansen, a head coach for strength and conditioning in Vancouver, BC where he used both training aspects for training his basketball players where they saw a benefit in both training aspects. However, Derek places an emphasis on weight training because strength is their main priority. Alex describes how researchers are able to measure which proteins are created in muscles after different forms of exercise. Both are important, but what comes first? There is no right or wrong here. The way I generally program for my clients (and myself) is I place the cardio portions at the end of the workout.  I start out with the weights because most of my clients come to me with a goal that needs some form of strength training. I design weights to be first because this is when we are feeling the freshest and can use all that focus and energy into proper form into the lifts that require more attention. But also, it depends on your goal. Alex Hutchinson describes a “switch” that happens at the beginning of a workout that determines if “better endurance” or “more muscle” will be created. Unfortunately, this cannot occur at the same time. So, if you’re goal is to increase strength, build muscle or tone your weights should come before cardio. If you’re goal is to improve cardio endurance, then your entire cardio workout should come before the weights. If you want to improve both, change it up from day to day or incorporate resistance training circuits that give you that “cardio feel”.

It's no surprise that I am a big burger fan. Burgers are one of (if not) my favourite meal. I also enjoy the glass of wine or gin soda. One thing that I usually don't find myself eating or even desiring is rice crispy squares. One Sunday, my Aunt Theresa (per usual) placed some freshly baked goodies in front of me for dessert. I wasn't particularly craving one, or in general, do I ever. However, this time I grabbed one, and enjoyed it. I took a second as I caught myself going to grab another. "Moderation", I thought, "It's okay." But in this particular instance, moderation is not okay. I was using my way of mindful eating as a scapegoat to allow me to take another treat. This brought me to this realization: Moderation does not give you a pass to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Moderation or mindful eating allows me to eat a healthy, well balanced diet, without giving me any sense of stress or extreme restriction. It also works coincide with my goals. What we (I) don't want to do, is give mindful eating the control of allowing me to eat whatever I want, when I want because I am allowed to indulge in moderation. If moderate eating is apart your nutritional plan, and it works for you - that's awesome. But don't fall into the trap of "Indulging is okay, I can eat this now, and have another." Moderation is supposed to help you, not hinder you. If you find yourself always indulging because "moderation", we are missing the point. The problem is not with the treats we are eating, but how often we eat them. We still want to limit our unhealthier choices. Allowing the indulgences now and then - the ones we really want because we love them and they are a rarity, not because they taste pretty good and well, moderation. On the flip side, mindful eating is becoming aware of the foods we are consuming and why. So really, the whole practice here of realizing I was using the plan as a scapegoat to over indulge, really is being mindful. I was aware of this, and this makes me feel pretty good. There was an occasion too where I really wanted a burger for dinner, but didn't want all the add-on's that came with it. So I opted for a bowl of black beans with my burger and joined in the table's sangria. So this is a point of finding the negotiable and non-negotiable indulgences. You don't have to go overboard with your indulgence, but enough to feel comfortable and satisfied.

I will admit, I have been spoiled when it comes to where I workout. Since 2011 I have worked as a Professional Personal Fitness Trainer in a small studio. When compared to public gyms, training studios offer a smaller a venue, less equipment and no crowds. Prior to becoming a personal trainer, I did work out regularly in a public environment, but I realized upon entering a public gym recently, I have become accustomed to my environment. “Oh. My. God. Everyone here is incredibly fit.” “There are people everywhere” “I don’t belong here” are the thoughts that streamed through my mind as I gazed across the gym floor. Shane from the 7th grade came alive. A boy stricken with nerves, standing in the middle of gym class. I am now a 27-year old man, a personal trainer and someone who has gained a lot of experience in this setting. But upon stepping foot inside a foreign gym I felt some form of anxiety about to over take me. The gym is an intimidating space. It’s a space where you’re there to improve personal goals in a close proximity to strangers. How did I manage to compose myself, stick to the program and accomplish a great workout? 1. Acknowledging my past. I realized in this instance that even though I haven’t seen that version of myself in quite some time, that boy who was picked last in gym class, is still a piece of me. Whether it’s weighing heavy or a just gentle touch, I will always feel pressure when I step into a foreign gym. Guess what? It’s okay. I’m not alone. Everyone in that space feels like this at one point or another. I have chatted with guys who have done bodybuilding shows who have felt some pressure. Some staff members who felt pressure when they worked out because they felt like they needed to uphold a certain “standard” of fitness to the gym patrons. 2. Embracing my journey. I remembered how it felt standing there in the middle of gym class, feeling weak and unwanted. With a breath and a step forward, I told myself I was doing this for that 7th grade boy. Proudly, I reminded myself of how far I have come. You can’t run from your past, but you can embrace your journey and use it to push yourself further. 3. Focusing on myself. Remember this: you’re there to improve yourself, not to worry about how fast the guy beside you is running or the woman next to you is squatting. Comparison is going to happen. As human beings, naturally we look to one another and size each other up. So, become more aware of when you’re falling into the comparison trap. It would be naïve to say that just because you are aware of the losing battle in the comparison trap, it won’t happen again, because it will. But, you have a choice on how you react. You can become more aware of when you’re slipping upon the trap and then take yourself out of it and bring the focus back to you. This workout is all about you. ““It's like running a race. The energy that it takes to look back and see where the other guys are takes energy away from you. Don't waste your time in the race looking back to see where the other guy is or what the other guy is doing. It's not about the other guy. It's about what can you do.”- Oprah Winfrey For more information on “The Comparison Trap” click here. [I know personally it can also affect members of the LBGTQ+ Community and also other marginalized communities for their race and gender, differently. If you feel you’re being judged based on your sexual orientation, gender or race, my opinion is bringing this to management and then maybe look at finding another, more suitable gym. I would also recommend asking the gym before signing up, what their policies are in regards to patron’s being discriminated against or if it is a safe space.]

Motivation, why are you so hot and cold? I get a lot of questions about how to stay motivated to workout and to eat healthy. A friend of mine said to me one day as we were heading into the gym: “I find my motivation coming and going. You’re so lucky! You’re always motivated and ready to workout.” I could sit here and write down 10 tips to staying motivated on your fitness journey (which I have done, and you can check them out here), but to be honest, whether you do them or not, you may still find your motivation is slipping from time to time. You can try to predict when the motivational slip will come, but you can never be certain. All we do know, is that motivation moves like the tide – it comes in high, and it comes in low. My response to my friend’s comment was, “Nope. There are days I am really motivated and excited to enter the gym and other days, well I just don’t feel like it.” Motivation comes and goes. Bad days happen, good days happen. Energy levels are up, and energy levels are down. It’s all part of the process. So, what can you do? 1. Use your low energy days. The low energy or “bad days”, used to be very demotivating for me. But when I began viewing these days as part of the process to moving forward, I was then able to give myself a break, lean into my struggle and feel liberated. This was how I actually turned my low energy days into motivation. By embracing them and taking pressure off myself. 2. Be brave and show up. If you want to be brave, then show up in your life and show up to that workout. It’s saying, “I don’t really feel like being here. I am not at my 100% today, but I am here.” Showing up when you don’t want to is when the real change happens. Showing up when you have a lot of energy, the sun is shining and you’re feeling yourself, is effortless. But showing up in times of struggle – that takes effort. I came across a quote by Theodore Roosevelt in Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Be brave, dare greatly and show up in your life. 3. Embrace discomfort. Aliza Licht, author of the book, Leave Your Mark, brilliantly wrote, “change shouldn’t be comfortable, and if it is, it isn’t change.” Change creates discomfort. Some days getting in workouts are easier than others. That’s it. I’m not aware of anyone who actually enjoys living in discomfort. We often overlook the fact that this discomfort is only temporary. When experiencing change there are moments struggle and resistance. When I start a new workout plan, diet plan, recipe or even a route to work, I like to remind myself: if it’s easy, it probably isn’t change. I wrote an article on the struggles with change you can check out, here. 4. Harness your "why". Finding your why is probably one of the most important aspects to focus on regarding your fitness journey. Simon Sinek refers to something called the “golden circle”. The outer circle is the ‘what’, followed by the ‘how’ and inside the two is the ‘why’. When Simon refers to this circle he is usually describing business, but when I thought about this more, it can transfer over into our personal lives. Many people know what they want – to lose weight, to gain muscle or to run a marathon, for examples. Some of those people know how they’ll do it – hire a trainer, buy a gym membership or see a dietician. But, very few of them know why they want to do it. In my experience, the why is overlooked because to identify it takes time, a lot of internal reflection, and probably some discomfort.  Time, feelings and discomfort - Yuck, I want to lose weight, and it’ll happen when I get into the gym. Right? Maybe. But what happens when the day comes you don’t want to go to the gym? Finding your why is what’s going create consistency in the gym, day after day, week after week. Simply, “wanting to lose 25 pounds” or “wanting to be stronger”, are great and valid goals, but they’re not personal enough. Having to add another medication to your cabinet, wanting to see your kids grow up, needing to be strong enough to stay out of assisted living, having the freedom to travel wherever you’d like, feeling comfortable on the beach or feeling that you’re trapped in a body that is not your own. These are the aspects to your program, and you, which are going to get you to the gym when your motivation just isn’t there.

I went on a road trip last week, after a few hours I got a flat tire. Upon realizing this I decided to pop the other 3 tires. Looking back, that doesn’t seem logical, does it? This is the analogy I used when a client brought up how they noticed they would miss a couple workouts then completely stop and “start fresh next week”. They would eat a little extra at lunch, so decided to say, “Screw it! This day is a write off, I might as well indulge tonight.” I completely get this way of thinking because I used to think this exact way. “I’ve had a few drinks tonight, I might as well make my way to the snack bar.” “Pizza for dinner? Might just as well add some ice cream for dessert.” I continued this pattern until one day, I realized I was engaging in some self-sabotage. I was perpetuating an idea that “if it wasn’t perfect, then what’s the point?” If I slip up or indulge, I might just as well pack it in. This way of thinking is the easy way out – really though. When things don’t go as planned, we essential give up. It’s stubbing your toe when getting out of bed, so you call it a day. What’s challenging is taking a moment to realize your actions, thought patterns and seeing if they’re rational. Slashing my other three tires after I see one tire went flat isn’t rational. I am willingly putting myself four steps back, when I only needed to take one. In comparison, why carry that mindset over into your exercise and diet? I find that you shouldn’t expect anything– your body, your habits, your relationships, or your exercise regimes to be perfect all of the time. It’s unrealistic. So, what should you do? 1. Change your expectation. Expect that you will always do your best, in any given circumstance. “Your best”, is all you can ask for and follow through on. Your best today, may look different than the previous day, or the next day or even the next week. For instance, there was a day I wasn't able to get into the gym for a workout, so I opted for a half hour walk. It might not have been what was planned, perfect or "intense", but it was the best I could do that day. “Aim to be a little less perfect, for a little more progress.” – Jill Coleman 2. Avoid the ‘all or nothing’ tactic. I love this strategy. Well I used anyway, until I realized I was on an endless cycle of falling on and off the wagon (anyone else familiar with this damn wagon?).  This strategy is similar to taking 3 steps back when maybe 1 step was necessary – it’s taking the easy way out. For this reason, I think it’s important that people focus on structuring their meals around including their favorite foods. I’ll ask you this - can you think of your favorite foods, which may not be the most “diet friendly”? Mine would of course be, burgers, chocolate almonds and wine. After thinking about this, ask yourself if you could go without them for the next few months or years. Like, none. Zero. Most people wouldn’t want to cut out their fav foods. I wouldn’t want to cut out burgers for a year. Hell no. Brian Wansink (Author of “Mindless Eating”) states, “Denying ourselves something over and over, will ultimately leave us craving it more and more.” I believe if we focus on denying ourselves something, it is only going to be temporary. If we can rework the plan to moderately include the indulgences we can get off the damn wagon, and set ourselves up for long-term success because we’ll never need to binge (or call it in) due to deprivation. It’ll take some time and effort to learn this method. It’s something I have a grasp on, but I am still learning more today. However, learning how to control your favorite foods, and not letting your favorite foods control you, is a plan for life long success.

I have been chatting to a lot of people recently about one topic: change. I am assuming this topic is showing up more and more because people are doing a lot of assessing and reassessing within their lives. Around this time of year it’s common to begin thinking about where you’re headed for the remainder the year or what you want and need to set out to achieve in the next. Fall is a time where change is prominent. You can look everywhere right now and see someone in transition. People are shifting from summer vacations back to their work routines. People are walking through the doors of a new school. I’ve chatted to people prepping for moves across the country. I’m working with clients who are creating new fitness goals. I’m also working with clients who are beginning to take their first steps towards their fitness goals.  I’ve heard discussions about people looking to expand their business, break into new markets or experiencing a shift in management. Heck, you can look outside to the leaves beginning to change color. Everyone has gone through a form of change before, so why do we struggle so much with it? We struggle with change because we can’t control it. Change carries a sense of uncertainty. “Uncertainty is an essential part of change. There is a natural process of dis-integration and re-integration that change provokes. Uncertainty should be seen as a natural state. It constitutes the starting point from which people can reorganize their self-structure and find a new view of life.” - Krista Scott Dixon Change creates discomfort. I’m not aware of anyone who actually enjoys to live in discomfort. (Side note: we often overlook the fact that this discomfort is only temporary). When experiencing change there are moments of struggle and resistance. When I start a new workout plan, diet plan, recipe or even a route to work, I like to remind myself: if it’s easy, it probably isn’t change. Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. Change is inevitable. We will all age, experience loss and gain. Whether the change is positive or negative, there will be moments of struggle. You have the option to resist the inevitable or to learn something new. This occurs whether you’re taking on a new job or signing up for a new exercise class. I remember signing up for a new fitness class at a studio I have never been before. It was hard, unfamiliar and at times, uncomfortable. Afterward, I met some great new friends and learned some new exercises and workout structures. I currently describe 2016 as one of the best but most challenging years to date. Coincidence? Probably not. This year I’ve changed by embracing vulnerability - putting myself out more in my blogs, interviews and social media postings. Even in my personal life, having the hard conversations with loved ones. I’ve purchased a home with my boyfriend and moved to another side of the city. A shift from renting to owning is definitely a change. Most recently, I’ve decided to resign from my personal training position after 5 years at a downtown studio. A difficult decision because I was dealing with a lot of uncertainty. I had a stable schedule, wonderful clients and got to spend a lot of time with some nice people. But I needed to listen to my gut. How did this happen? By changing something. Change isn’t an easy process, and with a lot of self-reflection, at this moment in my life, I am ready to dive into uncertainty. It’s a time to reorganize my goals and to step aside from the fear of the displeasing someone or waiting till perfection strikes. So, if you’ve been putting something off for too long, I challenge you to embrace the change. Stop waiting for the perfect moment to begin that new exercise program, join that gym, have that difficult conversation, ask that person on a date. The perfect moment will never actually arrive. Waiting for the perfect time actually keeps us from moving forward, at all. Friends, let’s set some new goals. Create an action plan, and go forth. Cheers to discomfort and uncertainty.

We have all done it. We scroll through our social media feeds keeping up to date with the photos, statues and check in’s, of the hundreds (or thousands) of friends we have, and then compare. We compare our jobs, our families, our houses, our vacations, our careers and our bodies. We compare everything. You can’t blame us for doing so, we usually do this unconsciously – it’s human nature. Naturally we look at the people around us and size each other up. ​But what happens when we do this, we associate the comparison with our own self-worth, and guess what? You will always fall short. When you compare yourself to others, you will never win. Why? 1. You magnify your own flaws. You see them. You’re very much aware of them. And then you pit them against your ideal [insert body part or trait here]. But you know what? No one else is noticing these perceived shortcomings – especially to the extent you do. And what else? Someone is probably glancing your way, wishing they could walk a day in your shoes. 2. Everyone else is seemingly perfect. Look at the first point above, and flip it - we then look at everyone else as perfect.  You never see the other person as having an undesirable trait. Chances are if you have small arms, you’re only looking at the people with arms riddled with muscle. If you have a little belly fat, you’re only observing those with rock hard abs. 3. You lack self-compassion and gratitude. Self-compassion is a willingness to look at our own mistakes with kindness. It's about giving up self-judgment, but also not about letting yourself off the hook. I love the stuff. 4. It’s all a matter of opinion. What is desirable to you, wont necessarily be desirable to someone else. And vise-versa.  You will always be too soft, too firm, too big, too small, have too much muscle or not enough muscle. It’s all-relative, my friend. 5.  You will always find someone who has better X, Y and Z. When you are on the lookout for someone else to compare yourself to – you’ll always find it. Just like excuses to not attend a party or make it to a workout, for example. If you want a reason, you’ll find one. You see someone walking by you with great legs – “god, I wish I had their legs.” The person in front of you at the grocery store has marvelous shoulders, “look at those shoulders!” When you set out to compare, you’re setting out to find someone to make you feel inferior. Why do that to yourself? 6. You’re not in your own business. It’s your business to appreciate your body, your lifestyle, your career or any other facet of your life. What’s not your business, is observing another life through the looking glass. Nor is your body (or life) any one else’s business. Whose business are you in? Byron Katie says there are 3 kinds of businesses: 1. Your business 2. My Business 3. God’s Business (everything out of a person’s control – so don’t stress about it). Alright, so when you compare, you cannot win. So what can you do? 1. Run your own race. What do I mean by this?  The only way to improve upon yourself is to not worry about the other person. You can’t control them. You only have control over yourself. To quote Oprah Winfrey, “it's like running a race. The energy that it takes to look back and see where the other guys are takes energy away from you. Don't waste your time in the race looking back to see where the other guy is or what the other guy is doing. It's not about the other guy. It's about what can you do. You just need to run that race as hard as you can. You need to give it everything you've got, all the time, for yourself." 2. Take yourself out of the trap. Become more aware of when you’re falling into the comparison trap. It would be naïve to say that just because you are aware of the ridiculousness of the comparison trap, it won’t happen again, because it will. But, you have a choice on how you react to the mindset trap. You can become more aware of when you’re slipping upon the trap and then take yourself out of it. 3. Get in competition with yourself. Yes comparison it’s unavoidable, so play into it – constructively compare your past self, to your current self. And aim to be better. Better than you were yesterday, 6 months ago or 5 years ago. Just strive to be better. Are you more aware of emotional eating habits? Making more meals at home? Working out regularly? There are countless ways to measure progress. When you're comparing yourself to others, you're more focused on everyone else, instead of the person who matters - you. Only compare yourself, to yourself and be the best you, you can be today.

Did you catch Part One? If not, you can quickly catch up here at  Common Mistakes PART 1. 1. You don’t plan for struggle.   It's easy to get down in the dumps, wanting to give up when we don't immediately start seeing change. But you know, struggle is good. It's what I tell my clients when they are just starting out with me -  expect  struggle. I know this is kind of annoying to hear. It was to me at first.  The Struggle Is Real.   Why? Struggle shows you where the room for improvement is. That you're heading in the right direction - forward. Without struggle, we cannot get better and we cannot change. The learning experiences come from the slip-ups and challenges. Lean in. Embrace the struggle. 2. You cut calories low and don’t do enough resistance training. When trying to lose weight you want a caloric deficit, but what happens is a person will cut their calories too low. What’s too low? Generally speaking you do not want to eat below your BMR (basal metabolic rate). Your BMR is the amount of calories you need to live when at rest. How do you calculate this? BMR calculation for men: BMR = 66.5 + (13.75 x weight in kg) + (5.003 x height in cm) – (6.755 x age in years) BMR calculation for women: BMR = 655.1 + (9.563 x weight in kg) + (1.850 x height in cm) – (4.676 x age in years) Generally speaking, anything under 1200 Calories is below your BMR. Once you go below the 1200 mark your body starts to go into a stress state. Your body cannot tell the difference between a diet and a famine. The body is a smart and efficient machine. If it feels like adequate food isn't coming in, the body will then hold onto fat stores to maintain itself. Precision Nutrition also states  here , that volunteers who went on a very low calorie diet after 10 weeks had less leptin, peptide YY and cholecystokinin (satiety hormones) and more ghrelin and gastric inhibitory polypeptide (hunger hormones). After a year, the volunteers’ hormones were still out of whack, ultimately causing them to feel hungrier. No surprise why most dieters regain the weight they lost, plus more. Cutting calories too low will also affect your energy levels. Your workouts will suffer because you will not have the glycogen stores to go through an intense workout. You need to fuel your body to put it through an efficient workout where you can build muscle, losing body fat. So keep calories above BMR and be sure to add in some form of resistance training 2 or 3 times a week. 3. You're filled with negative self-talk. Self-compassion is a willingness to look at our own mistakes with kindness. It's about giving up self-judgment without justifying your actions. Sounds trivial maybe, but it's important.   Jill Coleman says that, self-compassion and holding yourself accountable are different. “This is why many of us feel like we cannot afford to practice self-compassion – we believe that somehow negative-talk spurs us into action. Like, without it, we’d just give up and give in. We think, ‘aren’t people who are harder on themselves the ones who ultimately succeed?’” You can be self-compassionate, yet still accept responsibly for your outcomes. If you aren’t giving yourself permission to make mistakes and have flaws, this will be a hindering factor in your journey. I’ll ask you this, can you expect a positive external change in life, when what’s driving you internally is negativity? 4. You’re looking for problems, not solutions. Change is hard. Weight loss is hard. If you go into a weight loss journey expecting perfection, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Why do this to yourself? In the beginning you need to actually expect to struggle. Even when motivation and excitement are high – expect struggle. You can’t predict when it will occur – but it will occur. It’s okay to complain and make excuses (sometimes we have to take these moments). But remember, we aren’t doing anything to improve our situation by doing this. Complaining and improving are contradictory. You can never do both at the same time. With every moment, we have the CHOICE to complain or take action. It’s hard. We can always find something to complain about or justify why we shouldn't take the next step. Jill Coleman once said to me, “There are two types of people: those looking for problems, and those looking for solutions. Which are you?” Holy smokes! What a tough, blunt question, right? But it’s worth answering for yourself. To quote Jill, “If I am complaining, I am not getting better.” 5. You’re setting the goal too big. When you’re identifying your goal you want to lay out the potential struggles (holidays, work, scheduling, travel) and steps you need to take to overcome them. Once you have your goal laid out, you need to state the importance of the goal. Once you have the level of importance, you move onto how ready you are to achieve this goal. Are you willing to take action today, tomorrow or 2 weeks from now? After importance and readiness, you must analyze your confidence in reaching the goal. Are you going to make the change necessary, in the time frame, to reach the goal? Rate your confidence on a scale of 1 -10.  If you rate a 7 (or lower), you must change your goal until your confidence is an 8 (or higher). Revive Wellness says if your confidence is a 7 or lower, the chance of you giving up within 2 weeks is too high. There is no shame reevaluating your goal if it better sets you up for success.