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The gym is an intimidating place. It brings all our insecurities to the forefront. At some point you have been new to a gym, new to fitness, or new to the feelings of getting back into a physical regime. Being the kid who was picked last in gym class, I know the nerves and anxiety that follow you when entering the gym for the first time. How to do you stop these worries from getting the best of you? Here I am going to discuss some strategies that have helped myself and my clients overcome gym-phobia. 1. Plan. Go in with a structured workout or fitness program. There is the familiar saying, “failing to plan, is planning to fail”, and it’s true. Assuming you’ve heard to grocery list analogy – do not go grocery shopping without a list, because if you do you’ll purchase a lot of unnecessary products. Same for the gym. You should not walk blindly into the gym. Look up the exercises beforehand and walk in there confidently because you know what you need to be doing. If you need to hire a trainer or an online coach you can inquire with myself here. 2. Acquire. There is strength in numbers. Try to workout with a friend whom you are comfortable with. You will want to surround yourself with people who can motivate and help build your confidence. 3. Reassure. Remind yourself that you aren’t there to be judged. Majority of people do not go to gym to stare at other people. They go there to feel better and get closer to their goals. Reassure yourself of your intent. Let’s also be realistic - there may be times where you do get judged. But that says something about the judge, not the juror. It’s a projection we do onto others as a survival technique. We’ve all done it. I remember a time when I saw a man with a massive chest and arms thinking, “Oh, he clearly thinks I’m weak.” Did he? Maybe. Most likely not. The most probable scenario is, he probably didn’t even notice me because he was focused on his workout. Judgments may happen, but you’re not there to worry about that, you’re there to workout. 4. Investigate. Look into what is actually making you anxious. Taking a look at my previous example with myself assuming the man “thought I was weak”. I wasn’t anxious because of him. I was anxious because I lacked confidence in my own abilities. I was anxious because I was so busy comparing myself to others, I forgot why I was even there in the first place. 5. Show up. Continuously walk through those gym doors. There will be days when you’re crushing life and feelin’ yourself, and other days where you want to avoid the gym at all costs. Either way, show up. Competency comes in the reps. Competency builds confidence. You’ll need to take a few more steps through the doors and a few more attempts at that new exercise, before you can master it. Consistently walking through that gym will allow you to become more accustomed to your environment and your levels of comfort will rise.

A question we all want the answer to. Instant gratification rocks, so immediately would be ideal, right? However, every person is different and unique, so you should expect that your results would also be unique to others. It may be quicker or it may be slower. If you do not see results immediately, do not panic. Your body is already getting stronger and healthier after your first workout. What is the order I should see changes happen? John Romaniello explained the order of change typically occurs with strength first. You'll notice the weights you’re using seem lighter than they were before, resulting in you lifting heavier. This happens because your brain learns to recruit more muscle fibres in order to lift heavier loads. The second adaptation to occur would be with your performance. Meaning you are becoming better at moving. Your body and nervous system are developing and become more efficient at the movement patterns and building endurance. Endurance means you’re able to lift weights or perform a certain amount of work without tiring easily. This occurs because your body is increasing the number of Mitochondria – the cell's espresso machine. The more mitochondria you have, the more energy your muscles will have. However, this is where many people can become frustrated. In my earlier years this is where I would jump ship and swap programs because I wasn't seeing these visual changes. The issue is they don’t really start to appear until after your strength increases and performances improves. I wasn't giving the program enough time to actually run it's course. The method of program hopping was a detriment to my progress. This is why consistency is so important in your workout regime. “Okay, but when do I see the results of my hard work?” If you don't make the errors I made early on, within the third adaptation there will be a decrease in body fat. After approximately 4-6 weeks you are able to notice a fat loss, because your body is more efficient and able to perform more work (burning more calories). Lastly, after strength and endurance increases, better movement patterns, and fat being lost to energy expenditure, you gain muscle. This is where you really start to see the results in the mirror. This lean muscle you have will also burn fat to help maintain itself, in addition to the more intensive calorie burning workouts. Of course this is a general outline of the body adaptation process and you can very likely notice measurable differences along the way giving a proper nutrition and workout regime.​ ​ BOTTOM LINE: the process of “getting fit” is a journey that expands over months and years, but the benefits start on the first workout. If you’re consistent, you should start seeing the visual results after 4-6 weeks.

Frustration is not an interruption of your process. Frustration IS the process. The fun part is when we are feeling great, we have more energy and we’re seeing results—our friends are seeing our results. But Elizabeth Gilbert states, “You don’t just get to leap from bright moment to bright moment. How you manage yourself between these bright moments—when things aren’t going so great, is a measure of how devoted you are.” Holding ourselves together through the mess is where the real work lies. But it’s also where the magic occurs. I was having this conversation over Christmas, half jokingly, “Can’t I just skip the messy middle and get to the part where I’m comfortable!?” Mark Manson writes, “Everything sucks, some of the time. You just have to know what suckage you’re willing to deal with. So the question is, what are you passionate enough about, that you can endure the most trying points of the process?” I can explain it this way—if you want to change your body or your health in some way, you are going to have to sacrifice something, and you may have to be prepared to do some internal reflecting. You will be uncomfortable. The other side is, not changing at all, keeping all your goals as fantasies, but remaining comfortable. Both will be frustrating at times. But which frustration do you want?

I just joined a gym—now what? So you have mustered up the nerve and signed up for a gym membership. This is an exciting point in your endeavour, but with that may also comes some confusion and anxiety. “Okay, well now what?” “What do I focus on?” “What equipment do I use?” are all common and completely normal questions, and we can combat this. I am about to lay out some of my general tips to help guide you through the next steps after purchasing your membership. 1. Get a coach/personal trainer Being a Personal Trainer myself, I am biased, but signing up for a few sessions with a trainer or coach will significantly help offset any anxiety or confusion with exercise. This is also an opportunity to ask questions, go through proper form and get an idea of how an exercise should “feel”. 2. Focus on the big blocks There is a lot to absorb when it comes to getting started in the gym/working out. I recommend focusing on the biggest 3 factors to get you going. Exercise form comes first. It’s important to ensure that you are using the equipment safely, moving in the best way for your body and using the targeted muscles. Also, using proper form is incredibly important for injury prevention. It’s normal to maybe want to go a little “easy” on the first 1-2 workouts. I often ease new clients in to see how they manage during and recover after the workout. You might feel great during, but it can be quite demotivating not being able to move your arms or walk properly for 2-4 days after. That said, you do want to be challenged in the workout. Choose a weight where you can execute every rep with perfect form, but having the last 2-3 reps of the set a struggle. If it isn’t a struggle, go heavier. If you cannot complete all reps, go lighter. Lastly—progressive overload. Progressive overload is a gradual increase in stress on the body during exercise. Building on the last point, eventually what was once challenging will no longer be. The body adapts—becomes stronger. Because of this you want to ensure you’re increasing the weights to ensure that the last few reps are still a challenge. 3. Get a plan and/or partner Signing up with a trainer is a great strategy to increase your accountability and have a plan created for you. Also joining a friend or asking them to come along with you, is a great way to increase some external accountability and comfort with support/familiarity. 4. Patience One of the biggest hindrances to people not reaching their goals is lack of consistency. We want quick results, but we need to remember that this takes time. I have laid out the process of “body change” here. Every workout you complete is moving you one step closer to your goals, and at times the wait can be frustrating, but hey,– Beyoncé wasn’t built in a day and either will be your body goals.

It was the fall of 2009 when I felt the heaviness associated with my self-worth tied to my body. If you have ever had the number on the scale dictate how you were to feel about yourself for the following day, weeks or months, you know the heavy feeing that comes with this. I was sitting in my room working on physiology assignments. This was the first time I had actually calculated BMI. Upon my calculations I found out that I fell into the “overweight” category. I redid the work because I must have made an error. Nope. Four times later, I still fell into the “overweight” category. “Am I overweight?” – “Have I always been overweight?” – “When did this happen?” I sat at my desk trying to absorb these numbers and the categorization of my body/health. 🤯(Side note: it was much later on realizing the fat-phobia that society conditions us to as well). The next day in class I can remember diving deeper into how BMI only gives you one story and how different compositions can give the same category. (I.e. a body builder could very well fall into an “overweight” or “obese’ category based off their weight and height.) But I am thinking – how many times do we let numbers determine how we show up in the world? How often do we talk down towards on ourselves – speak in shame and disgust because of a number or a category? I wasn’t aware of this at the time or even how often this happened to me. I eventually have been able to take scale numbers as feedback without tying my worthiness into it. We live in a society that categorizes us and these boxes can be crippling. This messaging is learnt. We don’t wake up hating our bodies, with the negative connotations or what bodies are “acceptable”. Somewhere along the way we absorbed a story that was never ours. I urge you to begin the process of separating from the narratives that are not your own. I urge you to look at yourself as more than a number. Categories and numbers are tools. They provide feedback and only give you one aspect, to a much broader picture. There is a lot more to us than what the scale reads and what category we may fall in.

False narratives are a major player in our self-sabotage. A narrative is simply a story. It’s within our personal narratives that can get us into trouble. These are the stories we tell ourselves about our experiences to help us understand a situation. But what happens when we interpret a story wrongly? Author Erin Brown Conroy states, “We don’t fully understand what’s going on, miss what someonemeans, and misconstrue the meaning of entire situations”—we jump to conclusions. This is where the issues begin, because we only interpret a narrative through our own POV, which is always skewed—twisted from our preconceived notions and experiences. Erin explains that a false narrative is the gaps in a story that are our own creations, which aren’t true, but we believe them to be and cement a full story or experience. This is where the destruction and sabotage we impose on ourselves comes into play. False narratives create a trend of negative thought links and halts progress. We do this because it’s easier—it’s easier than seeking the truth, investigating, dropping preconceived notions and maybe even neglecting our own responsibility. This is when we can throw ourselves off course from our fitness goals, personal relationships or professional endeavors. So what can you do? Whenever I find myself immersed in a false narrative of my own creation I look for the truth and proof—I ask myself, “What am I basing this off of?” and “Based off of what I know to be FACT, does this add up?” Most of the time it doesn’t. Truth and proof seeking are the elixirs to a false story. But knowing what the cure is to the false narrative doesn’t mean it’s now smooth sailing, because though it’s a false story, we still need to UNlearn the story—that’s where the messy and uncomfortable effort comes in. But it’s where the change happens.

I was listening to a Podcast when the interviewer asked, “What are you afraid of?” Hearing the question stunned me a bit. I began to contemplate my answer as if the interviewer was asking me the question. There was a series of images throughout my life that came flooding forward; within seconds I had my answer. I am afraid of not being enough. Not being good enough. Smart enough. Fit enough. Masculine enough. Out-going enough. Healthy enough. I was lying in bed, but had a unsettled feeling in my stomach. Familiar to when I first sat down with my counselor back in 2012. There are moments in our lives that can plague us. The duration or consistency is highly individual. Whether we carry these incidents for short moments, months or years are often an unconscious decision – at least it was for myself. So how far back did these feelings go? My feeling of not being smart enough first came when I was in grade 2. I was held back a year. I was a young boy, with a lot of energy, an often-short attention span and some trouble with reading and math. Watching all my friends move forward into the next grade was a difficult one. The time I can first remember the feeling of, not being smart enough. The image of myself in and out of the hospital flooded my brain. This stemmed from a ruptured appendix in the third grade to a developed blood disorder that wouldnt stabilize till the tenth grade. I could carry this trend back years before grade school to a hernia as well, if I really reach. This was some of the most trying times for my family and myself. I remember lying there in the hospital bed and weighing heavily on my mind. “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be healthy like the other kids?” The time I can first remember the feeling of, not being healthy enough. I can remember my desperation after school in grade 6 standing at the bus stop asking my friends to befriend me again. Apologizing for “being annoying and girly” stating, “I can change.”  I was an easy target for the jocks in the grades ahead of me too throughout junior high and early high school. These are the times I can remember the feeling of, not being masculine enough. Gym class is always a place I never felt comfortable. If not chosen by default, I was often picked last in gym class. Even in college when picked off into teams, I would cringe to flashbacks of adolescence gym class. These are the times I never felt fit enough, athletic enough, strong enough or popular enough. “Honestly, I don’t think you could be a personal trainer.” I remember hearing this in drama class, when discussing what paths we were contemplating after high school. I glared and asked why. “Because, people aren’t going to want to be trained by you. You’re not fit enough to be a personal trainer.” That guy’s statement stuck with me. Especially upon graduating and when my manager put an ad out for new clients and someone I've never met emailed me, “Maybe you would have more clients, if you lost weight.” I was dumbfounded. Was this guy in grade 11 Drama class actually, right? Of course not. But I went there for a moment. So, you too have a fear of not being enough – smart enough, fit enough, pretty enough, healthy enough, funny enough. What can you do with this? 1. Stop the comparison. The thing is when you have a feeling of being inferior; it’s often when you’re putting yourself or being put beside some one else in comparison. As a society, we have identified points of success: a career providing a lot of financial wealth, a fancy house, a happy marriage, a fit appearance, nice clothes and beautiful children. Often, we compare ourselves to those we feel have reached these points -- even though the reality may be different than what we perceive. But you’re entering into a fight you’ll never win. Your perceived flaws are always pitted against your perceived strength of another. We need to define what success and accomplishment means to us. Our personal definition of success may contain elements to the person’s sitting beside us, but it isn't the exact definition. Karolina Tatarenkova, writer for the Huffington Post states, “If you rely on somebody's validation of your success, you will never be free. It will be easy for anyone to derail you off your path.” Determine your definition and follow your own path. 2. Deal with the hurt. Author and Doctor, Brené Brown has said, “Over time when I feel hurt, angry or ashamed – I am going to do something with that. There are these very patterned ways people offload hurt and emotion instead of feel it. Then a seemingly innocent comment happens, and they go into a rage. That’s ‘eggshell environment.’ That’s trauma inducing. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Your body keeps score and will always win.” This is why you can put yourself right back in the gym class, that hospital room, entering that grade 2 class room another year or opening up that email filled with judgement. Your body will harness and hold onto these incidents in a way of dealing with hurt and in some cases, alter you. When I was going through those moments that created the feeling of not being enough, I didn’t actually deal with (most) of them, creating turmoil inside me, which sometimes came to life through mean comments and actions towards others – even my loved ones – my people. I’m not proud of these moments, but because of this I know it’s likely I was apart of another’s feeling of not being _________ enough because I never dealt with my own shit. 3. Benefit of the doubt - We’re all doing our best, given the tools we have. What’s the saying, “the people who hurt, are often the ones doing the hurting”. Looking back, any comment that was directed towards me, came from a place of hurt the person hadn’t dealt with. I know this because I’ve recognized it within myself and sometimes I see this in others. I remember wanting to tell grade 6 Shane to show those "friends" the nearest exit. To stop agreeing to change yourself for acceptance. But in that moment, I was doing the best thing I could to survive - to not get hurt. Jill Coleman says when we give someone the benefit of the doubt it’s asking yourself, ‘Have I never offended someone?’ or ‘I have ever been mean to someone?’ and then taking it one step further and asking, ‘And when I did those things, was I even aware of the other person's feelings?’ Many times, we aren't even aware of the words we’re saying and the effect they have. So there may be a chance that person who upset you wasn’t even aware they were doing it. 4. Harness the feelings into strength. I saw a picture that read, “The pain in your today, is giving you the strength you need for tomorrow.” A sometimes irritating thing to read when you’re living the pain, but how often do we look back on that difficult situation with appreciation. “If it wasn’t for all the hard times and challenges in my life, I would not have the drive and determination that lead me to sit here today.” – Christina Aguilera Back in 2015 I became aware that I was being involved in a string of malicious messages from former colleagues. The messages were geared towards hurting another person, by using my own sexuality – a gay man. Though I wasn’t the direct target of these messages, having my sexuality being used as a weapon was infuriating, but also difficult to describe. I credit my past experiences for allowing me to confidently walk into that boardroom with a backbone to challenge those individuals face to face on their ignorant actions. Actions that speak nothing about who I am or the person they were targeting, but volumes about the perpetrators. Which leads me to my last point. 5. Don’t take it personally. The words or feelings are not spoken from your truth, but from their insecurity. Mike Robbins introduced me to the quote, “You wouldn’t worry about what other people think about you so much if you realized how little they actually did.” Boom! How true is this? Yes, the fact is that most people are focusing much more on themselves than on us. Very often we take things personally. Things that actually had nothing to do with us. This doesn’t mean we let people walk all over us or treat us in hurtful ways. We need to up for ourselves when we’re being disrespected. What Mike Robbins means is, when we stop taking things so personally we actually liberate ourselves from needless worry, defensiveness and conflict. So what is going to make you, enough? I urge you to stop looking outside for your validation. Validate yourself. Deal with your shit. Don’t suppress it to the point where it becomes toxic to your relationships. Then take all the bullshit and create magic from it. It will take time and it will be messy. I’ll leave you here with this: It’s currently estimated that there are over seven billion people in the world today. You’re one in seven billion. Some of those billions will share the same characteristics as you, experiences as you and values as you. But not one person can stand beside you and say they are you. You’re a rarity, and that’s pretty fucking spectacular.

Bright lights, loud noises, lots of people and foreign looking equipment.  If I can recall one of my first entrances into a gym, this is what I remember experiencing.  I have been in many gyms since then and can say this is often what you will see when you first walk pass the front desk. If you’re generally more introverted (like myself), are a bit anxious and hesitant to start working out, these factors are not in your favor. But you already knew this.  It’s necessary in noting that the fear of being judged is complicated and highly individual as it ties in with each person’s own experience and past traumas. This article is really just scratching the surface about the feeling of being judged and how to start the process to move away from these feelings.  I know personally it can also affect members of the LGBTQ+ Community and also other marginalized communities for their race and gender, differently.   If you feel you’re being judged based on your sexual orientation, gender or race, my opinion is bringing this to management and then maybe look at finding another, more suitable gym.  I would also recommend asking the gym before signing up, what their policies are in regards to patron’s being discriminated against or if it is a safe space. I remember feeling the vibration of what I assumed were weights dropping to the floor, a blend of voices on the TV, people I didn’t know laughing/talking to one another, unfamiliar equipment beeping and booping and grunting coming from the ground level below me. Some occasions random eye contact was made, “Damn it—I’ve been spotted.”  Had it not have been for my friend, Kaylene accompanying me (also her first time), I probably would have left or at least quietly suffered through the next 30 minutes on a treadmill.  Early into my career, I learned that many or most people feel intimidated when they first step into a new gym.  After talking with many clients, other trainers, dissecting my own feelings and having the conversations with others I have not professionally worked with, there was a common experience of being judged.  Whenever I entered the gym I could almost hear the words and judgments from those around me—“He clearly doesn’t know what he is doing—what is he doing here?” At least, I thought I could.  I was always told (and told clients), people are there to workout, not judge others at the gym. It is true, but this isn’t exactly helpful right?  Yes, no one pays to go to the gym in hopes of judging others. We go to the gym to improve our own health. But truth is, while we’re doing that, we may momentarily pass judgment upon another person.  In December 2017 The Daily Mail, states a poll where FitRated asked 1000 people about whether they worry about being judged at the gym — and also, whether they've ever judged anyone in the gym. Half of the respondents said they've actually skipped the gym because of fear of judgement. That number jumps to 65% among women. Both men and women reported their biggest concern is their weight.  Almost 60% per cent of women and 44% per cent of men said they feared they'd get judged for improperly using workout equipment.  But are people really judging other while getting their own workouts in? Well, yes. About 34% of all people surveyed admitted to judging others at the gym — and those people reported spanning the range of physical attractiveness to fitness levels. Then 40% reported they were assessing someone else's weight. In fact, the most common thing they reported judging others for was their clothing.  Majority of us have done this—you look at someone’s clothes, the loud noises they’re creating or you’re confused of the movements they’re doing.  Maybe you’re fascinated by how strong someone is. Maybe there is a couple publically displaying their affection for one another. It may be fleeting, but judgments occur. ​ So, people may be judging you and you also may be judging them. What we need to do is acknowledge our preconceived notions of people judging us, and put that energy back onto us and then learn how to handle the judgment we may face.  For the majority of the time, if you feel you’re being judged at the gym there are two things we need to keep in mind:  1. Am I actually being judged or am I just assuming I am—what am I basing this of off—what proof do I have?  2. If I am being judged it sucks, but it has more to do with that person than me.  For the first point, yeah you can get a 'vibe' from people, but are we assuming that we know what other people are thinking? Are we jumping to conclusions, thinking that other people are judging us? In reality we have no way of knowing that unless some one literally walks up to us and says, “You—I’m judging you.”  We also need to note that most people at a gym are strangers. Maybe you recognize someone from social media, but you don’t know them. If I have never met someone before, the chances of me talking to someone at the gym is unlikely – it’s nothing personal. But this can be associated with the feeling of being unwelcomed.  As for the second point, typically people judge or receive push back from others because you have pushed an internal button for them. Same goes for you—have you ever looked at someone’s outfit and thought it was inappropriate? Or maybe you had a fleeting acknowledgment to yourself of another's fitness level (impressed or not). Maybe you associated someone dropping their weights with arrogance, when the person dropping their weights is now embarrassed because they were trying to remain hidden and blew their cover.  What I am getting at here is, we all have had these momentary acknowledgments of who is around us — negative or positive. Maybe they were judgmental, and yes, we probably know very little about the person who just took up some mental space for us. But this had very little to do with them, and mostly to do with us.  So let's keep the focus on ourselves, I guess my point of all of this is, yeah, people might judge you. You might catch yourself in the act. Please, do not let this stop you. Find ulterior methods of fitness or spaces if you must. Because at the end of it all, we are all there with the same purpose—self-improvement.

It was around the year 2015 when I went to Vegas with some friends. One night we went out for dinner. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary—we had some drinks in the room before dinner, took a ‘to-go cup’ for the walk to the restaurant. Upon arrival we all ordered some more beverages, along with appetizers, the main course and shared a couple desserts. I am leaving out some of the finer details of shenanigans in between, but for the most part, this night doesn’t sound unordinary. However, a couple days later I noticed that my waistband was tighter and the shirt buttons were snug. “Damn alcohol” I said to myself. Most of us have said this before. “If I want to lose weight I need to cut out all the alcohol.” But when I was listening to a recent Scott Baptie podcast, Steve Kemp made the point that, it actually isn’t moderate alcohol consumption that makes us gain weight—it’s our choices we make after were drinking, that cause us to gain weight. A key point here is moderate consumption. Calories from alcohol can quickly add up to a meal. For example, 3 glasses of red wine equals about 375 calories, while 4 pints of beer equals about 832 calories. Put that into more perspective, a Big Mac from McDonalds has 257 calories. But still, it seems to be the affect alcohol has on our appetite that derails weight loss. What does alcohol do to the body? The liver digests alcohol. Your liver can digest 7grams of alcohol per hour. That amount is easy to hit. For example, a glass of wine has 14 grams of alcohol. When your liver cannot digest the alcohol faster than consumption, it travels into your circulatory system (blood) and brain. This is when your reaction time, memory, judgment and pleasure seeking are affected and the Party Goblin wakes up. (If you want more information on the Party Goblin, click here.) It’s not really the alcohol calories, but the affects of our appetite? Scott and Steve discussed that alcohol affects our appetites short term. But not in the sense, “the more you drink, the more you eat”. Steve shared studies that show you can eat 30% more after drinking moderately. Not just more, but it also affects how much you eat after you are full. So, where you would normally feel “stuffed”, you don’t anymore. Then it came back to me. Upon arriving back to that hotel room later that evening, we stopped by a fast food restaurant in the lobby. I would guess over 1500 calories were purchased before my head hit the pillow. John Romaniello recommends eating 10% less of your daily calories before going out, but definitely eat to help curb any craving influx. But I can still gain weight after drinking, even if I didn’t over-consume food. What gives? This is a scenario I found myself in before as well. Whether it is upon returning from a vacation or simply waking up the next day from dinner and drinks, the scale seems to shift. If you wake up and find yourself 2-4 pounds lighter, it’s probably because you didn’t hydrate sufficiently. So your weight loss is based off of dehydration, not actually fat loss. If you wake up and see the scale 2-4 pounds heavier, it’s probably because you drank a lot of fluid and ate a lot of salt. The increase in weight is also probably not fat, but water retention. This is why you don’t really want to weigh in every day anyway; there are a lot of factors at play. So when you’re drinking, give yourself a couple days post drinking for some time to stabilize. So, how do you plan alcohol into your routine? With most of my nutritional coaching today, I follow more habits based planning. So, if you want to build better habits, I would suggest planning in 1-2 glasses of wine (not 6-8) LOL. Another method is actually allocating the calories from alcohol (including mixes if using) and subtract that from another. For example, if allocating 300-400 calories for your wine consumption, you have to take away the 300-400 calories from your food consumption. Calories do count when it comes to weight loss. You have probably heard not to drink on an empty stomach because alcohol absorption is at 100%. Steve states that if you drink on a full stomach, that drops to 66% absorption. So eat beforehand, and try not to eat once you’re drinking. Does the hangover also affect cravings? As mentioned, yeah alcohol acutely affects our appetite, which can cause for some self-sabotage. The following day or two, Steve accurately states, our goal during the hangover is to “just feel better”. We typically go for the deep fried, salty, comfort foods because we are simply craving salt and electrolytes—we are dehydrated. This is why we feel like garbage – dehydration. Well, and alcohol is a technically a toxin. In order to offset any further sabotage, stock your kitchen with a lot of nutrient dense, low calorie foods—do not call Uber Eats. Drinking water while partying helps, doesn’t it? We know drinking alcohol dehydrates us. It would make sense to drink water. But in this scenario we actually aren’t doing anything because our body is also losing salt and electrolytes when drinking water. This is where the term “breaking the seal” came from – we are going to the bathroom a lot and just peeing everything out. The solution here is to hydrate yourself before you drink, and then when you are finished drinking. Gatorade is great. Steve and Scott also mentioned milk, if you can stomach it. And my workouts? Along with alcohol’s affects on appetite, we also need to acknowledge that if you have over-consumed or not sufficiently done the prep work to keep the hangover at bay, the workout the following day(s) may be missed altogether. So try to workout earlier in the day, before you start drinking. Can you workout on a hangover? Absolutely. In fact, it will probably make you feel a little better. But Steve and Scott note that you need to be realistic with the fact that your performance will not be up to par, so adjust appropriately. It should be something light that can allow you to get moving and a little sweaty. John Romaniello sums it up perfectly, “the fact is, if you DO want to go out and party, you should be able to do that as often as you like without completely screwing everything else up.” The information on this topic is extensive and often confusing, and more studies still need to be done. The purpose of this article is to provide you with some more information so you can enjoy your drinks, minimizing the damage to your body, your fitness goals and keeping your Party Goblin asleep. If you would like some more information, Doctor Jade Teta has a fantastic write up here.

A few weeks back my friend and I were attending a summer BBQ and we wanted to dress up a bit. Days before the event I had mentally prepared my two options—both were button shirts, different colors. Hours before the event I went to try on the shirts and was soon frustrated. My boyfriend asked what was wrong. “Urg. I feel too fat to wear these clothes right now.” He insisted everything looked great and helped me try on some alternate choices. But I was still frustrated. This lasted for about 45 minutes. I had this conversation with a client the following week in the gym and said, “That’s what happens when you consume food and drinks like a Jerk for two and half weeks.” I digressed by saying I wasn’t too worried about it because give me 10 days of regular exercise, eating and I’ll be back to feeling like myself. Which was authentic to how I felt. Why I am emailing you today is because I hear this frequently—people telling me they feel “fat”, “huge” or “have a big stomach”. I read something that struck me from Jessi Kneeland I wanted to share with you: “Feeling ‘fat’ and actually being fat are completely separate and unrelated experiences.” The question being asked is the idea behind why feeling fat is a problem—what does that feel like? The challenge here is to put to words why ‘feeling fat’ is such a negative thing. For myself, the struggle comes from a larger feeling of negativity—things that are harder to name or discuss, so “feeling fat” is the easier route. Jessi Kneeland states, “Fat is not a feeling”. Fat is a description, like “tall”, “slow”, “strong” or “pink”. These are all subjective—not good or bad. But we attached meaning to these words and that’s where the issues arise. For me, the problem wasn’t feeling “fat”, but it was frustrated (mentioned earlier).  It was a feeling of anger towards myself because I willingly over consumed alcohol and food. Yes, I had a lot of celebratory events and family from the USA staying with us. But never did they ask me to consume that way. The responsibility was on myself, and that frustrated me. Jessi went on to state that growing up (particularly with women), “Being called ‘fat’ or ‘big’ or ‘ugly’ was excruciating and everyone knew it, so if someone really wanted to hurt you, those were the insults hurled at you.” The meaning attached to these words are from our surroundings and society as a means to make us feel unworthy—less than. So society can keep us playing small, companies can sell us products to ‘fix’ us and the people around us can make themselves feel better than us. It’s been drawn to my attention that anyone who struggles with feeling fat, unflattering or any body image issues, is really struggling with something else entirely. Maybe it’s failure or worthiness. Maybe it’s something traumatic or maybe like my latest experience, frustrated (with a little shame) because ‘you knew better’. So, I am leaving you with this message by Jessi: Body acceptance is more than reframing our flaws. It’s more than only loving yourself when you’re fit or eating well or doing things you know are ‘right’. Real love is about letting go of the belief that other people have the right to determine if you’re ‘good enough’. It’s about basing your worth on something other than being looked at.

A few weekends ago, my friend Anna and I attended a summer party where we found ourselves sitting at the bar enjoying a drink and laughing with one another. Eventually the two men next to us made some light conversation where they asked what we did for work. I told them I was a personal trainer. He then asked in a condescending tone, “You’re... a personal trainer?” while proceeding to poke me in my stomach. I am not kidding. The stranger blatantly judged me, and then preceded to touch me—As if my body wasn’t my body, but something that he could poke, prod and judge. In the moment I actually laughed at him and said, “Why would I lie about such a thing and yeah, I have had a career in this space for almost a decade.” That was the end of it. This didn’t affect the rest of my evening—I still had a great time and shared genuine laughs with my friend. I didn’t really think anything of it beyond that because I don’t perceive myself as being “fat” and I now have more positive body image days than negative. But it hasn’t been my first experience having someone (a stranger) judge me based on my body. My thoughts the next two days were nothing about the man, but being proudness in myself. I am proud of myself because had that been 10 years ago, I would have hid myself. Questioned myself. Maybe even hated myself. I know this because I have done this. I am proud of myself because of the years of mindset work I have invested in myself. In 2008, I had a classmate tell me I “wasn’t fit enough to be a personal trainer” when my friends and I were discussing career paths. In 2011, after my boss put out an advertisement saying I was accepting clients as a new trainer, I received an email from a stranger saying, “maybe I would have more clients if you lost weight.” There had been incidents between 2008 and 2011, and incidents after that led up to last weekend. The only difference today is my self-worth isn’t tied up in how other people think I should be or what they deem appropriate. I am writing to tell you that if you experience a negative comment or criticism about your body, to let you know your hurt, shock and frustration are totally valid. But I want to encourage you to loosen the grasps on that narrative—it isn’t yours to hold. You do not need to shift how you show up in the world, how much space you decide to take up because of someone else’s experiences of you and their insecurities. I want to remind you that your body is yours and it is not an invitation for anyone to poke, prod or assess. This kind of work will be messy. It will take time and it wont be easy. I am a decade into dissecting narratives that have been associated to me and determine what is mine. And to the stranger at the bar--any other questions?

The day is Monday and you have decided that this is going to be a fresh start to the week. Work went smoothly, you got home sooner than expected—traffic was slow and work was productive. You’re feeling comfortable and satisfied after a nice dinner. Most of your meals for the week have been prepped. Around 9pm you’re about to watch a few episodes of the latest Netflix addiction. Suddenly you’re standing in front of the pantry with your hand in a bag of chips living your best life. The other scenario is it’s the middle of the week, the boss has handed you some extra files to go over, clients to call and meetings to book. You’re running behind, but looking physically calm. The metaphor you would use to describe yourself is a duck swimming—kicking its legs veraciously under water, while everything else is seemingly gracefully. You haven’t eaten much today but are meeting friends for dinner. You’re finding yourself barely reading the menu because it doesn’t matter what you eat, it just needs to be something. The two situations are very different, but involve a quick ‘need’ for food. The first scenario is the craving for the chips and the second is the need to eat because of hunger. A craving and hunger are often misinterpreted for one another, so how do you decipher between the two? Hunger True hunger can often be associated with some slight discomfort—that grumbling gremlin in the pit of your stomach. This can show up when you haven’t eaten for a few hours or most of the day. You may even feel a bit of a headache or weakness. A big determinant of hunger is the feeling is not for one specific thing, but food/calories in general. True hunger also doesn’t pass with time. Craving A craving usually shows up sporadically in the form of comfort foods like chocolate, ice cream or chips. Often these are circumstances like an emotion (positive or negative), being in a particular situation—like needing popcorn in the theatre. The need can occur after you have just eaten and can typically go away with time. When you’re making lifestyle changes it’s often said that diet is the harder part of the change because food is associated with our comfort, copping mechanism and social supports. But confusing cravings for hunger is a huger deterrent for people reaching their health goals. In the future if you’re finding yourself in a situation where you’re asking, “hunger vs. craving?” the easiest answer is: If you are all of a sudden in the need for something random—even it’s persistent; it’s probably a craving. If the need for food in general comes on slowly and doesn’t disappear or increases in discomfort, it’s most likely hunger. Also, just asking yourself “when was the last time I ate?” is a quick decipher tool.